When it comes to your wedding reception you may feel the need to design a seating plan so that you assign your guests a particular table with other guests that they will feel comfortable with. However, in some cases a seating plan may not be necessary. When it comes to this part of your wedding planning, read these tips first to make sure you organize your seating to perfection!

Do I need a Seating Plan?

If your wedding reception is small & informal then a seating plan may not be necessary. However, if you are having a large number of guests & a formal sit down dinner then it is a good idea to draw up a seating plan so that you guests can find a table quickly & efficiently. Many of your guests will want to sit with family & friends so a seating plan will prevent a mad rush of guests all trying to sit together at the same tables! Having a seating plan that places people who will get along together will help to create the happy atmosphere that you want for your wedding meal & will make a difference to your guest’s enjoyment of the day.

Within your wedding planning you will find a number of options available for your seating plan. These range from:

No plan at all – best for standing buffets or small & informal events. Assign guests to tables – you allocate guests to tables but the choice of seat is theirs. Assign guests to seats – you specify the seats at which each guest will sit.

When it comes to deciding on a seating plan, bear in mind that you should do what you think will make your guests most comfortable.

The Top Table Dilemma

The traditional top table is a long table on which sits the bride & groom in the center & the rest of the wedding party beside them. Whilst this is still the favored choice, there are other alternatives being used as family structures become more complicated.

Traditionally the top table would look something like this:

Chief Bridesmaid–G.Father–B.Mother-Groom-Bride-B.Father-G.Mother-Best Man

Alternatives are used where parents are divorced & maybe remarried or have a new partner. Another popular choice is to do away with the top table altogether & just have a table for the two of you.

Top Tips for Other Tables

1. Seating families or close friends all on one table may not do much to encourage mingling between guests, although these guests will be relaxed. Sitting people who don’t know each other may be daunting for those concerned & again may not do much for the atmosphere. The best advice is to mix the tables up so that there is a combination of new & old friends. Consider your guests ages & interests also & try to seat like for like together, they are more likely to get on & have fun that way.

2. Singles can be a dilemma, especially if a large number of your guests are couples. It can be tempting to try a little matchmaking but this could back fire, making both parties & you uncomfortable & embarrassed. Avoid a singles table & try to place them on tables with other likeminded guests whom you think they will get along with.

3. Etiquette rules apply depending on the shape of the tables you are using. For round tables sit male & female guests alternately. If you are using long tables sit couples opposite one another & alternate male/female along the table.

4. Reserve the tables closest to yourselves for close friends & family.

5. Make sure each table has a name or number to identify it. You could theme them according to things relevant to you both, for instance name after your favorite places you have visited together, or your favorite films. Your venue may make these cards for you, but make sure they are shown on your seating plan.

6. If you want to assign a specific seat to each guest then you will need to write out name cards which you can then place at each setting. Aside from the traditional name card, you can use menus or wedding favors for the same purpose.

Creating your Seating Plan

Start putting together your seating early in your wedding planning. You can start even before you have had back all of your RSVP’s as you will know already who is definitely coming.

When you start ask your venue for a plan of how the tables will be arranged on the day & decide on which shape of table you will use. You will also need to know how many guests you can seat at each one.

Putting together your plan can take some time & may involve many revisions to get it right. A good tip is to write each guests name down on separate pieces of paper & do the same for each table. You can then arrange the tables out & assign guests to each one. Experiment by moving them around until you find the right layout for you. In recent years there have been numerous software programs developed to help with organizing your seating plan which can save you time & a great deal of stress as well!

No one enters into marriage (or any modern variation on a long-term committed relationship) intending it to end. No one thinks that will happen to them.
Yet you’d have to be a supreme ostrich not to have some awareness of the odds of your marriage lasting ” ’til death do you part.” (I’m going to say “marriage” to save a lot of typing from here on, okay? Insert your own variation as we go along!)
So here are a few keys to increase your chances of your marriage being one of the successful ones. (You know the kind: when the press ask you on your 80th anniversary, “What’s the secret of a successful marriage?”)
Successful Marriage Key 1 – Know Your Outcome.
Ideally, you should do this before you propose or accept the proposal, but it’s never too late to change!
Ask yourself, (not your beloved – yourself!), what kind of relationship suits you.
For example, whilst equality may be one of your ideals, if you’re scrupulously honest with yourself, are you actually naturally drawn to being dominant in other areas of your life?
If you’re bossy at the office, (even if you’re not the boss), the leader and motivator of your social group, it’s unlikely you’ll be happy being a mouse at home! If that’s your personality type, for you to have a successful marriage, choose a spouse who’s happy being led by you.
On the other hand, if you’re comfortable being the deputy, and you’re a great organiser as long as someone’s told you how they want their filing cabinet sorted or their garden to look, then you don’t want a mousy partner if your marriage is to succeed.
Are you extrovert or introverted in nature? Are you optimistic or pessimistic? How resistant are you to change like moving house or career change?
Give yourself a personality workout. It’s these kind of characteristics far more than “interests in common” that make a couple compatible.
If you’re already well into a marriage by the time you read this, at least you know where to look, (inside yourself!), for where the causes of any struggle might lay. Once you get some clarity about this, have a really deep and honest conversation or ten with your spouse.
Successful Marriage Key 2 – Learn Each Other’s Language.
It has been said that only 7% of communication is verbal. The old chestnut of “my wife doesn’t understand me” – the almost cartoon excuse for an extra-marital affair – isn’t going to wash in the twenty first century.
The main reason that couples don’t understand each other is because they don’t know each other’s language. I’m not talking about what you say in words.
You each will have codes. Facial expressions, tones of voice and of course, codes of conduct. These are behaviours each of you will have grown up with. I know of at least one couple whose marriage suffered badly in the early days because whenever they argued the wife would leave the room, whilst the husband was yelling “Don’t you dare walk out on me!”
It turned out that he had grown up in a family who believed that no matter how big or bad the disagreement, you stayed until it was resolved. His wife, on the other hand, grew up in a family where it was considered the ultimate insult to dignity to be shouted at, and you simply didn’t stay in a room where that was going on.
Once they discovered this, they were able to at least come to some agreement about how to disagree!
Successful Marriage Key 3 – Dare to be honest.
It sounds simple but this can be the toughest one of all because every one of us has fears that if “you knew X about me, you wouldn’t like me.”
We all have them because no one gets through childhood without ever receiving some kind of message that parts of us are not perfect. We are reminded that it’s rude not to say thank you, impolite to belch publicly and so on.
Then there are social, moral and religious codes that we are “obliged” to follow, not to mention legal rules. Most of us, at times, walk tightropes on some of these areas of life, and a few of us have even been known to cross the odd line from time to time. (No one I know ever has, of course! But I’ve heard the rumours).
But the more you are prepared to “psychologically unpack” with your nearest and dearest, the more you’ll build up trust between you, but there’s a much more important result to this.
You’ll feel more loved, because you’ll discover that the parts of you that you yourself had thought unacceptable, even unlovable, are now accepted and cherished as part of you by the person who matters to you most.
In return, you’ll love her or him all the more for loving you.
Now who’d want to leave a marriage like that?