Journalist: I believe you have two failed marriages? Sally: No, that’s not correct. My first marriage lasted two years – it was successful. My second marriage lasted five years – it was also successful”. Media Interview with Melbourne fashion designer, Sally Browne,

How does anyone know whether a marriage is successful, but those two people who are married?Why should others judge someone else’s marriage by its duration? If Sally Browne and her current husband had lived in separate houses, would that have implied her marriage was successful? If, as statistics reveal, that one in three marriages end in divorce does that mean those that are sustained are  successful?I am not sure who said: Most women, it seems, like to marry at least once just to prove something to themselves or to society. It takes a stalwart to make the same mistake twice.Although statistics reveal that one out of two second marriages end in divorce, not as many divorced women are anxious to remarry. Many women, particularly those from marriages that have endured longer than ten years and have resulted in a satisfactory number of offspring, are not enthusiastic to pick up sox nor have to answer to a man again. They may own a smaller house, have a smaller disposable income and their holidays may not be as luxurious as during marriage but many say the tranquility, freedom and lighter workload more than compensates.

On the other hand divorced men need a woman to look after them and are usually remarried within two years. For a more specific view, let’s look at each female personality type separately. Each has different values therefore totally different views on marriage.

The Mummy’s Girl is pretty and feminine, adaptable. She is not ambitious but likes to be the boss’ pet. She brings out the protective instinct in others and especially in strong he-men like the Dad’s Boy personality type. She wants to be rescued from the boss-who-doesn’t-pay-her-enough-to-cover-her-credit-card-payrnent-each-month. She also wants to escape from mother’s apron strings.

The trouble with Mummy’s Girl is that she is never totally committed to her man or her marriage. She is always day-dreaming of, one day, her Prince Charming coming to rescue her from the rigours of housework and a critical husband. He usually does too and for some Mummy’s Girls, Prince Charming comes along repeatedly in different disguises) resulting in several marriages.”1′ve married a few people I shouldn’t have, but haven’t we all?”

The Daddy’s Girl personality type, efficient, well organised and successful is hard on herself and really needs a tolerant caring person like the Mummy’s Boy personality type. Her friends are surprised she marries such a wimp. “He’s not at all like her.” While he is useful, supportive amusing and good value he has a place in her heart, but once past the use-by date, she doesn’t waste time; she fires him like redundant baggage tossed out during spring cleaning. And feels only relief afterwards; relief that he is no longer a weight on her shoulders.”I’d die for you my love.” “Oh, Harry. You’re always saying that, but you never do anything about it.” Gloria Steinem

The Mother personality type who is motherly, nurturing and caring is dying to get married and have children. She chooses a man who will be good father material – The Brother personality type. She knows how to attract him, make him feel wanted and loved and has no trouble getting him to the altar. (They have to marry so that their children are legitimate). Usually she selects a man who stays permanently married. He enjoys family life and derives much pleasure from his children. The children are not the focal point of this marriage.

“I married beneath me. All women do.” Nancy, Lady Astor

The Sister personality type who is competitive, independent and inclined to leave her run a bit late is not keen to marry. She instigated the egalitarian marriage. The Bachelor personality type who also leaves his run even later eventually discovers her and they often marry within months of meeting. This marriage is usually very successful because they respect each others’ need for independence and space.

“The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him.” Cher

The Favourite Aunt personality type doesn’t need a husband. She is a great home maker, loves to run the household by herself without any interference and manages well on her own. The Playboy personality type is attracted to her. He wants a woman he can trust and she is completely trustworthy. Because she puts no pressure on him, he proposes before someone else does. Although never wildly enthusiastic, provided others don’t make it their business to inform her of her husband’s philandering, (although he will soon convince her it’s not true) she is content in her marriage.

“In Hollywood all marriages are happy. It’s trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.” Shelley Winters

The Flirt personality type needs an exciting man in her life and The Baby of the Family personality type believes that if he doesn’t marry this beautiful, vivacious and sensual woman, someone else will. Unfortunately she bores easily, which may lead to promiscuity or a change in husbands. Her husband who is usually a bit of a show off (part of the reason he married her), worries about what others think. He won’t be able to tolerate becoming a laughing stock in front of his friends. So like Prince Andrew, he will eventually throw in the towel if his flirtatious wife continues to stray.

“I know a lot a people didn’t expect our relationship to last – but we’ve – just celebrated our two month’s anniversary.” Britt Ekland

The Wife personality type chooses her man with great care. The Workaholic personality type must be worthy of her devotion. He must be successful and appreciate her support. She sets her prey and goes after him. She is a true predator but what a prize he gets; this woman is the perfect corporate wife, efficient, supportive, caring and devoted in every way. Her marriage is most often for life but should it end she will leave no stone unturned in her fury to find another husband. She is nothing without a man. To The Wife personality type, being without a man is like being without a job. “It is true that I never should have married, but 1 didn’t want to live without a man. Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I’m afraid it did.” Bette Davis.

Rosalind Baker is the Principal and Founder of Entre Nous Introduction Agency www.entrenous.com.au and author of 3 best sellers, Dial A Woman, Dial A Man and Dial A Personality To find out: Your Personality Type, or to find out”Are You Eligible” or “Are you ready for a relationship?” visit: www.entrenous.com.au

Rosalind Baker is the Principal and Founder of Entre Nous Introduction Agency www.entrenous.com.au and author of 3 best sellers, Dial A Woman, Dial A Man and Dial A Personality To find out: Your Personality Type, or to find out”Are You Eligible” or “Are you ready for a relationship?” visit: www.singles.net.au

Rosalind Baker is the Principal and Founder of Entre Nous Introduction Agency www.entrenous.com.au and author of 3 best sellers, Dial A Woman, Dial A Man and Dial A Personality

To find out: Your Personality Type, or to find out”Are You Eligible” or “Are you ready for a relationship?” visit: www.singles.net.au

For those that want to get hooked up, many various types of marriage proposals are there that can be used to present your ring to your possible spouse. Many people try to get creative with their marriage proposals, which can be very difficult, as so many notions have been used in the past and are now considered ordinary.

Even So, there is no reason that your marriage proposals have to be unique. Actually the proposal you need is the one that comes from your heart. Many women dream of the perfect proposal, where her husband-to-be gets on a knee and amorously expresses his desire for them to be wed.

If you are having problems coming up with marriage proposals, well you are not the only one. Many are entangled in this problem. Fortunately, only a few things can be done to ease this for you. Asking your partner’s friends and family is one of the easiest and one usually overlooked. Chances are, if both of you are progressing in your relationship long enough where marriage is a viable alternative, she has talked to her friends and family about it. This is natural. If she has discussed this with her loved ones, it is very likely that she will have conveyed her wishes and dreams when it comes to the proposal. Asking them can help you get a good idea of what she desires.

If you want to come up with marriage proposals on your own, you will need to think about the things that your significant other enjoys and try to tie your proposal to one, or numerous, of those things. For example, if she relishes walking in the woods or hiking, it may be politic to offer to her on such an outing. If she is the kind to relish costly dinners, take her to the optimal restaurant in your area and propose to her there. Some women may enjoy more private dinners at home. If this is the case, nicety background music and a candlelit dinner may be the best option for you.

When you are picking your marriage proposals,you should not forget to keep the woman’s culture in mind. Some cultures or religions expect large ceremonies for the proposal, where it is done before witnesses of family and friends. These require a lot of preparation and effort, as well as help from both your family and hers.

It doesn’t matter which marriage prposals you settle on, Her happiness and yours is what matters most. Do not allow one second rate marriage proposal if you have means and ability to give her memories that she can enjoy for the rest of her life.

Marriage.

Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.

I had been studying in a girls high school and therefore, till I passed matriculation examination, I could never calculate whether I was beautiful or an ugly woman. When I joined government college in my town, I found that it was a co-educational institution. I noticed that the boys who were my class mates were not taking any interest in me and at the same time, I had been told by so many other class mates that the boys are after them and some of those girls also told me that the boy students were teasing them. And I noticed that they were very happy when they were telling me such instances and they were happy that they could get admission in this co-educational institution. I was not having all these happenings with me and therefore, I too started having desire in my heart of heart that I too should have a boy friend and I should be able to love him from the core of my heart and one day I should be able to have marriage with him. I had started preparing myself well in the morning and I had started utilizing some perfumes too, but in spite of my efforts none was coming forward and in fact I had started cursing my luck. All these lovemaking was not recognized in my society nor my parents were desiring from me that I should have a boy friend, but still this hunger had taken birth in me and I too started desiring that I should have a boy friend who could sit with me, have talks with me, should help me in my study, we should be together in the canteen, in the library, in the garden attached to our college and we should be coming together to the college and we should be returning together and since I was having a bicycle with me, I wanted that I should be waiting for him in the morning and he should becoming to my house giving bells from far and I should be sitting on the front side of his cycle.

I was not tolerating the talks of my friends, because none was being attracted towards me. I was a woman and I too wanted a man around me. All my friends had chosen their boy friends and they were found in the canteen, in the garden, in the library and at other places along-with their boy friends. I was the only unlucky girl who could not find a boy friend. I had calculated that I was not having the same beauty which the boys of those days wanted. This was not my mistake. I had started cursing my luck because God had written such a luck for me and because of these happenings in my college days, I had started believing that I shall remain unmarried and none of the boys shall be agreeing to have marriage contract with me. I had seen that all the three sisters of mine could get matches only after thorough checking and I had seen with my own eyes that the would be husbands wanted a separate meeting with my sisters and only then they had agreed for the marriage. And I had a fear in my mind that when I shall be completing my study, I shall be facing difficulty in having a suitable match for me and now I had left the hope of having marriage at all.

I had started taking interest in my study. I passed my graduation with flying colours for my college and for my family. I did my post-graduation and that too with first class first in the town. Then on the advice and right counseling of my senior teacher Babeeta, I completed my M.Phil. and then I joined research work and completed my Ph.D. in the subject of psychology. Punjabi University was starting this subject and they appointed me as a lecturer in this subject.

All my sisters had been married. My two younger brothers also married. My parents had been giving advertisements in news papers and some people had been coming to my house too. I had seen that none of the boys was actually willing to have marriage with me because I was not a girl of their expectations. Therefore, before they could give a negative reply to my parents, I told the parties that because of certain difficulties with me, I am not in a position to have marriage at this stage and therefore, they should not wait and should try to find out a suitable girls for their sons.

My parents were not happy with my attitude. They were interested in my marriage, because they were in old age and therefore, they were desiring that their daughter should have her own house. They were having all information with them that I was not so beautiful and therefore, now they had started calling some men who had a divorce or they were widowers. I had noticed that two and three people came and showed their willingness that they were ready to marry me. I could notice that they were actually not liking me, but they were trying to fill the blank in their life.

I had left the idea of marriage. I had already crossed 35 years of my age. My old friends had been meeting me and they were giving me information about their married life. Some of them were having happy married life. But some of them were telling me that their husbands were not good people. They were drug addicts, they were having relations with other women, they were not having sufficient income, they are dependant on their parents and some were not interested in their married life. When I head such news from others, I was happy that I could not be one of them. I had started living at my own feet. I had a job. I was having sufficient income. My job was such that I shall be having pension on my retirement. Therefore, I started having my own house on the other side of the University and actually I got one and the remaining amounts were paid by the University as house building lone. They had started recovering some amount as installment from my pay. My parents were not liking that I should live separately, but I shifted to the new house and assured my parents, that they shall be at liberty to stay with me when their sons started feeling that they are burden upon their shoulders. And in fact my parents had been living with me for moths together till they are called by my brothers and such events happened only when the people had started passing adverse remarks on my brothers. Otherwise, they were happy that their parents were living with me and they were telling me that they had left their parents with me only to give me protection. I knew what was in their mind, but still I had been keeping my parents with me because they were not any burden upon me. They had converted this house of mine as a home and when they were not with me it turned into a house of bricks and mortar. My parents had seen that none was coming to my house except some students who wanted extra instructions from my side.

I had been contributing some articles to news papers, to magazines and because of my hard labour I had produced some research books in the subject of psychology too. Some books were recognized by the universities and some of my articles got publication in international papers. Scholars in the subject had started appreciating my work and therefore, I had been having references in speech, in works and even some scholars had started quoting me as final authority on some intricate problems of human mind. I had started reading those letters and some of those letters were given due acknowledgment from my side. The writers were giving due regard while writing to me and I had the feeling that the people are liking me only because that they are liking my research work and when they shall see me personally, they would not write me nor they would be appreciating me. And under this fear I had completed 40 years of my life.

I had already left the idea of my marriage because up till now none had approached me and proposed marriage. I had been having so many colleagues who were having all respect, all regard and even love for me because of my work and hard labour which I had been putting in research work in my subject. I had been in correspondence with a person from London and he had been praising my work and findings on the subject of sex and its place in relations between man and woman and he had been giving me encouragement that I had given some new versions to this subject. I was surprised to note that I had been appreciated on my work in a subject which had been foreign to me because I could not had a marriage nor I could have a boy friend or a another man with whom I had sex. The man in correspondence disclosed in a letter that he too belonged to the state of Punjab in India and now has settled in London as a permanent resident. He had been telling me through his letters that he had crossed 45 years of his age, but is still unmarried because he had got no attraction towards the opposite sex. H had informed me that he had been observing in his own joint family that the women had been the main cause and they created such circumstances in the house that the house broke into pieces and now all the brothers are living separately and they are not having visiting terms amongst each other. He was still unmarried when the family broke down and somehow he had come to London and has settled there as permanent resident. He informed me that he was working in a hospital as doctor and he has been allotted the department dealing with mad people. He informed me that he had been utilizing all the methods which were available in my research works and he had been successful in treating some mad people and now they are living a normal life.

This was all about his letters and one day I got a letter from his side in which he informed me that he was coming to India specially to meet me and he shall be getting some latest methods of correcting mad people. I was surprised to note the contents of his letter and it gave me further surprise when I noted that he shall be staying with me here in India because he would not like to stay with any of his brothers who are already having so many property disputes amongst themselves and were present in Courts facing and countering each other.

Since this fellow had been my booster throughout in the past, I could not give him a negative reply. I waited for him and even I went to Delhi to receive him at the airport. I was waiting for him with a banner in my hand and he straightway came to me and called me by my name and actually took me in his arms and pressed me hard and this continued for about five minutes, when he again took up his baggage and we both boarded the car in which I had been traveling to Delhi.

We had been having talks on different subjects. Since it was already ten of night, I suggested that we should stay in hotel and we actually stayed in a hotel and left for Patiala the next day.

I had a strange feeling because for the first time in my life a man had taken me in his arms and has pressed me hard with his body and this pressing continued for at least five minutes I was driving car and he was having his seat beside me. We had been talking on the subject of psychology and he was also having some talks about the administration in the University. I explained whatever I could keeping myself in limits prescribed by the conduct rules.

His name was Avtar Singh and he stayed with me for half a month. We had been to hill stations and we also visited Nanded- Hazoor Sahib. We both were not religious persons, but he wanted to visit this holy place because he told me that every Sikh must visit this holy place before he actually crosses 60 years of his age and we both were below this age. We also visited Nanak Jheera Gurdwarssahib which was in an other state in India. At places he had been holding my hand and on each morning he been meeting me in the same way which he did on the airport. I could get some new experiences in my life, but still this man had not proposed further relations which we shall be having in future life.

On the last night he suggested, “ Please come to London and stay with me. You can come there for having further research work in your subject. The universities there shall be welcoming your entry and the student public shall also have some benefits from you:. I just had a smile and no words came out of my mouth. This man was leaving me. He was inviting me to his own station and at the same time was not suggesting anything about our relations in the future. At the airport, he again took me in his arms and left India for ever. We never met again. I am still unmarried, but the man who had taken me in his arms and had pressed me hard gave me all what a married woman could get from a man. I had decided to live with these memories and was ready to spend remaining part of my life without marriage. But still I wish that Dr. Avtar Singh who was the first and the last man taking me in his arms should come and suggest that we should have marriage so that I could be in his arms time and again. He had been writing me letters and often called on phone too, but he never suggested that he is willing to have marriage with me. I am still waiting a letter or a phone from his side and I shall be the last woman to ignore his call.

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